By Brynna Williamson
It’s 2025. As a culture, we are long past ready to move on from online-only interaction, from not having face-to-face hangout times, from not having an actual human voice to speak with and a human face to see.
Being “IRL” (or “in real life”) hits differently somehow, doesn’t it?
Well, that’s what Kendal Farmer, a Quitman citizen who has just retired from her real estate career, thinks. In fact, that’s why she started a speed dating business in Quitman last year. Yes, you read that right: a speed dating business in Quitman. Kinda cool, huh?
IRL Dating
Farmer herself understands the struggle in modern dating. In fact, she just recently got married for the first time after being single for more than 55 years! That’s why her speed dating business is actually geared more towards the 35-55 age group, who can sometimes get passed over in the dating sphere.
“I was single for so long, and I know it can be a lonely time. And although a lot of people are okay with being single, there are those who are like ‘Oh, really (you’re hosting singles events?)’” said Farmer. “So I kind of just wanted to rope them all in—the same age, the same theme, that you’re all single—just to make friends, make memories, and make some laughs.”
So just what is speed dating?
Speed dating, according to Farmer, is where an equal number of men and women get a chance to sit down, sometimes with food and drink, for a series of eight-minute “speed dates,” or light, casual chats where each person gets to know a bit about the other. After the time is up, the men in the group move to talk to the next woman. Each person makes notes, and then Farmer says that “you mingle afterward, to maybe solidify any connection you may have had.”
Most of Farmer’s events cost around $20 to attend. That, as those of us who are feeling the effects of inflation can say, is not bad at all.
Kendal’s speed dating events are offered not only in Quitman. Far from it. Lake Hawkins, Grand Saline, Mineola, and more are all getting involved in the fun. In fact, a recent Facebook post announced that they’re hosted all across Wood County. According to Farmer, the eventual goal is to offer two events each month, rotating among each of the cities in Wood County.
Why Now?
Speed dating, Farmer says, was popular in the 1990s, but why bring it back now, more than 30 years later? Well, there are many reasons. One, Farmer writes, is efficiency. In speed dating, each partner can meet new people en masse in one evening. Another reason is that speed dating simply saves time. Also, there’s no pressure, as Farmer notes that people can “enjoy a casual and friendly atmosphere. Everyone is there for the same reason.”
Finally, because it’s fun!
“My goal is to have singles go to a social event and be in their same age group, where everyone is single,” said Farmer. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
“People are tired of swiping, being ghosted, filters, etc. And they want to meet “in real life,” she continued. “(Speed dating is) coming back. It’s kind of having a resurgence, because people want to get out and meet other people again. They just don’t want to be behind the phone, especially when it comes to romance.”
Farmer’s assumption that speed dating is “coming back” seems to be accurate so far. While she designed the events to be for adults aged 35-55, Farmer says that she’s had those of all ages—from 20 to 80—ask her to design an event to include their age group.
In fact, you’re not going to believe this, but not only are people from all walks of life signing up to speed date, the idea is so different that Farmer is even having people ask to attend just to watch! “Actually, even some observers (are coming),” said Farmer. “A woman and her husband walked in, and they were like, ‘We’re here for speed dating!’ I looked at them, and I said, ‘Well, who are you going to date?’ And she replied, ‘Oh, we’re just here to observe.’”
Because it’s new, people want to see how it works and who shows up. To be honest, though, wouldn’t you?
TBH, People Love This
Is the idea of speed dating different? Yeah. Is it quirky? Sure, I’ll give you “quirky.” Is it unexpected? Yup. It’s definitely a bit unexpected. But that’s also part of what makes it so interesting—and such a welcome idea to those who are already beginning to sign up for and attend Kendal’s Speed Dating Events across Wood County and beyond.
“I love the attempt locals are making to bring back the old school way of meeting people and dating,” said one comment on Kendal’s Facebook post. “Dating in your 40s is rough, especially when you don’t want to spend every free moment sitting in a bar or using online dating apps! Thanks for the effort from a 40-something single woman!”
“This could be fun and just what I need. I’ll be there!!!” wrote another. Follow Kendal’s Speed Dating Events Facebook page for more information or to sign up for an event!